As a codependent we lose ourselves in a relationship, it is unaware that losing our self is the biggest disappointment. When the relationship ends inevitably, then it is destructive, because we are lost. We lack the autonomy because this work was not completed in adulthood. The struggle to achieve this is typical of sensory relationships. There are often electrical conflicts, which repeatedly, unsolved logic, either a recurring issue or many minor things. Many of them boast about who has control, whose needs will be fulfilled, or how intimate they are. Intimacy problems are a common symptom of codependency. Avoid intimacy, and when we open, vulnerability is a way of maintaining control and autonomy. We fear that proximity depends more on our partner and is exposed to decisions and injuries. These results are not necessary, but being vulnerable and dependent was unsafe to return to a painful or inactive childhood. Some people feel insecure in both relationships and outside. The more we threaten with proximity and autonomy, the more conflict becomes in the relationship.

How do we lose ourselves

We gradually lose ourselves in small unfinished ways. It can start with romance when it is normal to please our loved ones and spend most of our time together. However, emotionally mature adults do not leave their activities, leave their lives despite strong life charm (they have the life), or ignore their partner’s inappropriate behavior.


Stages of Codependency


Many codependents work fine on themselves, but once in the relationship, they hold the phase of Condondency. When “chemistry” happens, they ignore negative indicators that may be a warning to get involved. It is really true that our emptiness reduces our good emotions in our brain so that we want more than that medicine. We do not want to lose those good feelings. Therefore, we are dependent and dependent on our loved ones. The desire to please can cause passion, can refuse the behavior of our partner, and doubts about our own perceptions can be. Limitations have become blurred so that we do not set “no” or limit what we want to do or what we will accept with our partner. Not only this, what makes our partner feel and confusion between our emotions. We also feel responsible for them. If he is sad, then I am sad too – like Barry Manilow song goes. If he is angry, then it should be my mistake.

We are confused (or never really knew) what we believe, what our values and opinions are. We will not have taken this meditation until we become involved in a serious relationship. In the middle stage of the Codependency, we leave our hobbies, interests, friends, and sometimes relations with our relatives to live with our partner. Generally, we do it voluntarily at the beginning of the relationship, but later we can do so to comply with our partner’s wishes. Although our choices seem desirable or necessary, we are not conscious of the price we pay: our self!

The disease of “lost self”

This is the reason that Kodependencei is a “lost Self” disease. Since our identity is referred externally, we give priority to our relationship before ourselves, sometimes it will be normal, but repeatedly In important relationships, we are afraid of losing our relationship with others or give them approval. With our partner, we sacrifice ourselves in small and large ways – before the important concessions to leave a career, bite a relative, or participate in condoning or unethical behavior that seemed previously unimaginable.

Abusive relationship

When we are in an official relationship, the symptoms of the dependency increase, where the decisions revolve around the needs and rights of a person. This is an abusive relationship, where our partner makes a clear demand. When our partner is strong, it seems that we have to choose between ourselves and our relationship – we have to leave our self to keep it. We become invisible, not a separate person with independent needs and desires, we believe that we knew what they were. In order to please our companion and not to the waves, we give them the sacrifice and pile up their self

Healthy relationships

Healthy relationships depend on each other. Respect and take each other’s needs and feelings, and are capable of resolving the conflict through authentic communication. Decision and problem-solving are collaborative. Persistence is key. The conversation is not a game with zero money. The obstacles are expressed directly, without our hint, tampering or accepting our partner will read our mind. Neither security nor autonomy is threatened closely. The vulnerability really makes us strong, not weak. In fact, when we are maintaining our autonomy and limitations, we can become more intimate and weak.


  1. I will immediately take hold of your rss as I can’t to find your e-mail subscription hyperlink or newsletter service. Do you’ve any? Kindly permit me realize in order that I may subscribe. Thanks.

  2. Fantastic blog! Do you have any recommendations for aspiring writers? I’m hoping to start my own site soon but I’m a little lost on everything. Would you recommend starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many options out there that I’m totally confused .. Any ideas? Bless you!

  3. I simply wanted to write down a small note to appreciate you for all of the marvelous guides you are posting here. My rather long internet investigation has finally been compensated with really good facts to share with my company. I ‘d assert that we site visitors are unequivocally blessed to be in a magnificent community with very many special individuals with very beneficial guidelines. I feel somewhat privileged to have come across your site and look forward to tons of more entertaining moments reading here. Thanks once more for everything.

  4. Thank you a lot for providing individuals with such a terrific chance to read in detail from this site. It is usually so sweet plus stuffed with fun for me and my office peers to search the blog no less than 3 times a week to study the fresh stuff you have got. Of course, I am certainly impressed concerning the incredible principles you give. Certain 1 ideas on this page are rather the most suitable we’ve ever had.

  5. I simply had to thank you so much once again. I am not sure the things that I could possibly have implemented without the tips and hints discussed by you directly on my industry. It previously was a very daunting setting in my position, however , viewing this expert technique you processed that made me to leap for contentment. I am just thankful for this service and in addition expect you really know what an amazing job you were undertaking training most people using your blog post. I am sure you haven’t encountered any of us.

  6. I just wanted to type a brief word in order to express gratitude to you for all the marvelous points you are writing at this website. My prolonged internet look up has at the end been compensated with incredibly good suggestions to talk about with my friends. I would say that most of us readers are very much blessed to be in a fine community with very many awesome professionals with very beneficial solutions. I feel quite grateful to have seen your weblog and look forward to some more pleasurable minutes reading here. Thank you once more for everything.

  7. My husband and i ended up being so thankful that John managed to carry out his analysis from the ideas he received out of your web pages. It’s not at all simplistic to simply be offering concepts which often the rest may have been trying to sell. And now we recognize we have got the writer to thank for this. The main explanations you made, the simple site menu, the relationships your site help instill – it’s everything great, and it’s helping our son and us consider that that topic is brilliant, which is tremendously mandatory. Thanks for the whole lot!

  8. My spouse and i got really satisfied Michael managed to do his basic research because of the precious recommendations he obtained out of your site. It’s not at all simplistic just to happen to be releasing secrets that some people have been selling. So we know we’ve got the website owner to be grateful to because of that. The most important explanations you have made, the easy site navigation, the friendships your site make it possible to promote – it is many wonderful, and it is leading our son and us imagine that this article is satisfying, and that is wonderfully indispensable. Thank you for the whole lot!

  9. I want to get across my passion for your kindness for visitors who should have assistance with in this concept. Your special commitment to passing the solution all around turned out to be rather productive and has specifically enabled guys and women much like me to get to their ambitions. Your personal valuable report can mean a great deal a person like me and especially to my colleagues. Best wishes; from all of us.

  10. I just wanted to write down a small remark to say thanks to you for all of the remarkable concepts you are posting at this website. My incredibly long internet search has at the end been compensated with reliable details to go over with my relatives. I ‘d repeat that most of us website visitors actually are definitely fortunate to be in a notable site with many marvellous individuals with valuable solutions. I feel really privileged to have discovered your entire web pages and look forward to so many more awesome moments reading here. Thanks once again for everything.

  11. I want to show some thanks to this writer just for rescuing me from such a matter. Just after researching through the the web and coming across ways that were not productive, I figured my life was gone. Being alive devoid of the solutions to the problems you have resolved all through your good short article is a crucial case, as well as ones which might have in a wrong way affected my entire career if I hadn’t discovered the blog. Your primary knowledge and kindness in controlling every item was precious. I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t come upon such a point like this. It’s possible to at this point relish my future. Thanks for your time very much for the specialized and sensible help. I will not think twice to refer your web sites to anyone who needs guidance about this situation.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here